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this could only happen to me

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I'll post my normal photo later, but for now I have a saga...and it only started ten hours ago.  As I was preparing to go to bed, it would seem that the bathroom sink had other plans.  The water supply line must've been rusted where it met the bottom of the knob for the cold water.  Before I knew what was happening, water was spraying fast and hard.  I reached for the shut-off valve, only to find that it refused to shut off all the way.  The bathroom in this apartment is raised up a step and the water began to slosh over into the living area, which is made of wood plank floors.  The problem is that those wood planks have small cracks between them and make up the ceiling of the unit below me.  This means that the water began leaking into their unit immediately, directly onto their bed.

I was thinking clearly enough to set a dish under the leak.  Unfortunately the area was narrow and awkward, the dish was shallow, and the leak was not a slow drip.  Of course I don't have a phone here, so I run downstairs (not yet knowing they have water leaking) and interrupt their domestic dispute with my panic.  They're yelling at each other, their baby is crying, water is seeping into their bed.  She starts trying to call the property manager.  I run back upstairs to empty the dish.  I scout around and find a one-liter plastic carafe; at least now I only have to empty that every three minutes.

The property manager informs us that she is a half hour away and doesn't really know how she could help here anyways.  She was going to try to put a call in to the foreman to learn where the main shut-off valve is located.  Her usual plumber was in San José for the day and she'd try to contact another plumber she knew of.  Since it wasn't my phone, I never did learn if she called back with any updates.  At that point, I decided that it was up to me to decide if I was going to stay up all night emptying a carafe or make something more self-sufficient.

At first I just grabbed the large trash can out of the kitchen and bent the water supply line so it dripped into that.  I figured I could just wake up every few hours and empty it.  Then I had another idea.  There were some large, green plastic bags in the kitchen.  I cut down both sides of it to make it longer and created a chute that would direct from the water line to the shower.  For whatever reason, maybe because I'm my father's daughter, I brought a few feet of duct tape with me.  Without that, none of this would've been possible.  I duct taped one end of the bag to the sink pedestal, added a couple more pieces to create a true chute shape with the bag, then secured the other end of the bag to the dust pan that was propped up in the shower.  This made the chute more stable and prevented puddles from collecting and ruining my masterpiece.

I stayed awake for about an hour to make sure nothing was breaking or leaking.  It all seemed fine, but I set my alarm for 2:00am to check it again.  Still looking good; I was feeling sort of proud of my ingenuity.  I left the light on in the bathroom so that I could just wake up throughout the night (or morning) and glance to make sure all was well.  Apparently that was a BIG mistake.  This time I fell asleep for a few hours, probably waking up again around 5:00am.  I saw some bugs on the bathroom floor and heard buzzing.  I was rather groggy and didn't want to deal with it, so I turned the light off and got back into bed.  Within fifteen minutes, I realized some other things.  The motion detector light on my porch was on.  That's weird at 5:00am; I wondered what had set it off.  I then noticed at least a dozen of these bugs in the little quadrilateral of light above my front door...and on the wall opposite the light...and along the front window curtains.

That's when I started to have a bit of a panic and felt like I should do something.  I looked in the bathroom for real this time, realizing that there had to be at least a hundred bees in there.  Some dead, some flailing, some very much alive.  I had nowhere else to go and no one to track down at 5:30am.  No one was going to solve this but me.  Although I had no particular method in mind to start, I knew they had to die.  I started by turning off the porch light, so that crew would disappear.  Then I also opened the door for anyone who wanted to escape alive.  The light fixture in the bathroom is covered, but in the main room there are bare bulbs.  I turned on the lights and watched the able-bodied flee the bathroom.  This was neither pretty nor calm.  As they fell to the ground, I'd finish them off with a flip flop and sweep them into a pile.  Yes, I had PILES of bees.

At one point, I realized that the lights were just getting them into a frenzy and they were calmer in the dark.  So I turned off the lights, even though it was still moderately dark outside, and went to work with a mini Mag-Lite.  They were everywhere: walls, curtains, futon, bed, desk, windows, counters.  Every time I turned around there were more.  Once I finally eradicated most of the stronger bees, I went back to the bathroom.  I finished off the flailing ones covering the floor and shower and flushed those who were unfortunate enough to land in the toilet.  Mind you, I had to work around my flood prevention contraption while doing this.

All of this bee exterminating took me about two hours.  After the initial panic, I stayed mostly calm and business-like.  It was only when two of them buzzed and got stuck in my hair that I was shaking and flipping out.  I had no idea where they were, but I knew that I made to move my hair around to release them.  Those were the only two stings that I received...and probably the only two moments that I wanted my mommy :)

Now, two hours later, there are very few remaining.  A couple live ones are too high up on the walls for me to reach.  Somehow dead ones occasionally appear inert on the floor.  The lesson here, apparently, is that you shouldn't leave lights on at night because the walls are not so solidly aligned.  The plumber just showed up, so let's hope all of my problems are alleviated before noon and I can return to the beach...for a nap.


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