1) I don't belong in River North after 8:00pm. It's so far from my scene that it might as well be a different galaxy.
2) I don't have the innate skill set needed to work a room, carry on more than five minutes of meaningless small talk, or schmooze in any way.
3) All of the above are exhausting enterprises that make me long for my couch.
On the flip side, as I've gotten older, I have grown to accept that it's unlikely for me to always avoid things that make me uncomfortable or anxious. Instead of giving myself a hard time for not being a natural, or comparing myself to someone who is, I try to walk away remembering some positive highlights.
In regards to the River North scene, it may not be for me, but it's nice to force myself out of the comfortable yoga pants and ponytail bubble - if only to recall that there are other modes of living going on out there and maybe I'll happen upon something that will expand my horizons.
And instead of berating myself for awkward approaches and segues at this event, I've decided to walk away with pride in the fact that I impressed a couple people with my honesty, independent moxie, and a firm handshake. Yeah, so maybe I only met 20% of the people in the room and carried on conversation with a quarter of them. Maybe it's baby steps and I'll eventually grow bolder. Or maybe that's just my interaction level. Either way, I walked away calling it an outside the comfort zone victory.
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