see as i saw

Victory is mine!  The day-to-day account of a year in the life of my lens and my mind comes to a close.  Knowing that I actually fulfilled the old "you can do whatever you put your mind to" adage is motivating in looking forward to 2013.  So it's time to set some new benchmarks.  Based on my commentary from yesterday's post, regarding the over-exuberance in committing to new things, I'm approaching plans for next year in a slightly different manner.

Similar to goal-setting in a business environment, I'll have a couple overarching goals for the year.  But I'll think a little more short-term for the goals with more of a trial and error aspect - those will be revised quasi-quarterly.  (I say 'quasi' because the odds of me regrouping exactly on April 1 is unlikely.)  This will allow me to feel at ease in not taking on a million ideas at once, and also in assessing whether my Q1 attempts were worthwhile without feeling guilty for not following through all year long.  So it's more of a way to trick my own mind while also maintaining a semblance of organization.

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The overarching goals, as they stand today:

1. International Travel - At least two international excursions.  Those are tentatively set already: Ecuador in late May and Croatia in September.  If this quantity has room for increase, you'll find no complaints from me.  I'd be happy to overachieve on this one.

2. Keeping in Touch - I can admittedly be pretty bad at this.  I'm not the world's best phone talker.  I'd actually be better at keeping touch if we went back to the old pen pal method, pen and paper.  Or even email.  My communication style is better suited to writing, but that's not the general method that other people in my life employ.  But it's important to me that I do a better job of touching base with the important, yet distant, people in my life.

So there isn't an exact plan in place, but I need to sometimes suck up my lack of enthusiasm for phone calls and also consider other communication adaptations.  Cards, flowers, text messages.  It'll be different for the individual in question.  And where the option is feasible, finding time to visit is the best alternative of all.

3. Photography - This should go without saying.  I want to learn my camera so well that it feels like a native limb to my body, exploring function as well as composition and point of view.  Where infatuation already exists, I think there is an opportunity to develop this hobby into a real love affair.

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For the approximate timeframe of January through March, my trial and error goals include:

1. Exercise - The New Year's gold standard.  As soon as spring hits, I can't get enough of active outdoor pursuits.  A natural vigor for physical activity hits me.  When it's dark, cold and dreary - nothing.  Pushing buttons on my TV remote sounds like suitable aerobic activity.

So while I don't expect myself to be pushing five to seven days a week, I'd like to maintain at least a moderate level.  They say it's good for your mental sanity, which is actual more important for me in the winter than my physical state.  So a combo of yoga, perhaps once a week, and a couple pre- or post-work sessions in my basic basement gym will be the aim.

2. Spanish - I've loved the language since I was ten.  While most people couldn't wait to finish the obligatory two years of language required in high school, I took four.  Then I took two semesters in college, for fun.  When I visit Spanish-speaking countries, I have mixed emotions of love and fear.  I want to speak it, I love the way Spanish feels rolling off of my tongue, but I'm frustrated by my elementary capabilities.

Clearly that's all within my control.  I've looked at language classes and online instruction exhaustively, but it never feels like good value for my money.  That's because I've already been through all of those lessons.  What I really need is simple immersion.  Not having a Spanish-speaking friend, I need to seek one out.  So the mission is to find a conversation partner (after first determining a reputable source to do so) and begin working my way up to fluency.

Though this one is part of a lifelong mission, it falls into the trial and error goals, because I'm not sure if this method is the solution.  Perhaps I'll get started and realize that I do, in fact, need a structured course.  Or that I need to drop everything and move in with a family in rural Argentina.

3. Creative Outlets - This category will start out vague, because I'm not sure which ones will catch on.  Or maybe none of them will catch, but they'll all be valuable one-off experiences.  They say that engaging in other creative outlets helps feed the creativity for your true passion.  And who knows, maybe along the way I find another passion.  Or learn some important lessons about life, the world, myself.

So I'm going to push myself to try things that I've never done, while trying to quell the fear of not being good at them.  As a perfectionist, that's always part of the fear of new things.  "What if I'm horrible?"  My mind has often run away with itself, imagining the consequences in great, horrid detail.  It can rarely be as bad as all of that.  Thanks to services like Dabble, I'm going to keep the creative wheels turning and see what happens.

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Three macro and micro goals apiece seems like a good starting point.  Especially since some of them are still a little vague in my head and not immediately executable.  They'll require some sifting, sorting and planning.  I feel good about starting 2013; it's difficult to believe what a different starting position I'm in from last year.

Last, but not least, thanks to anyone and everyone who kept my little project on their radar in 2012. Honestly, keeping it up would've been infinitely more difficult if I hadn't seen any views when I peaked at the stats.  Even one page view a day kept me compelled.  It'll actually be pretty cool some day in the future to look back on that one time I essentially chronicled a year of my life.  So thanks for keeping me on track.

In the next year, I'm not planning to disappear from cyberspace but the rules will be a little more lax.  Tentatively, the plan is at least one post a week.  The focus will probably be more photos and less text, but it'll really just depend on inspiration.  You may get five posts one week, a short novel one day, or a single snapshot in a week with only a title.  But I'll be around - and I hope you will too.

Happy New Year!

 Having a full-time poses a potential to halt some of the practices and routines that I've developed in the past eight months. Conversely, having a job allows me to return to several things that were sacrificed in my sans paycheck days.

One of the missions that I want to focus on adopting permanently is being open-minded. That means trying new things and saying yes to opportunities and possibilities. You never know where a path will lead you or the things you will learn by taking that chance.

Taking this job was a chance, although a calculated one. Spending two weeks in New York, a highly unfamiliar city, is an experience. Going to the US Open, even alone and only for 35 minutes of a match, was an irreplaceable opportunity.

These are considerable 'yes' situations, but they don't eliminate the need to focus on expanding my day-to-day life. In fact, while the big events may be more newsworthy, the tweaks to daily life are forging my character and leading me to the big events.

Today I dipped my toes in the water. (This is an intended pun, are you ready for it?) I tried sushi. When in New York, and the company supplies you with a risk-free catered opportunity, might as well.

Then, of course, there's the common (yet still slightly frightening) concept of injecting myself into situations where I meet new people. Group endeavors still tend to leave me people watching from the outskirts, but I make an effort to incorporate those situations on occasion. What I'm getting better at is one-on-ones, whether it's small talk with a stranger, meeting up with a friend of a friend, or playing tour guide for my brother's boss.

This week is already turning out to be a lesson in perspective.  The present moment may not meet the definition of perfect or ideal, but instead of focusing on the frustrations I'm trying to train myself to realize what I already possess that is of true importance...and then take the time to appreciate and enjoy them.

If people mean the world to me, they should know that and I should be making an effort to spend time with them.  If something makes me happy, I should figure out a way to ensure it's a part of my life.  If the perfect path does not yet exist, I should find the nearest detour and keep moving forward.

For most people, life is an exercise in trade-offs (actually, probably for all people).  As a perfectionist, there's a good chance that I've long tried to convince myself that I could find the holy grail of perfect existence if I just tried hard enough.  But I'm 28 years old and I should be living life and learning, not holding back and waiting on perfection.

So thanks to thirteen tastings of Rioja wine and an evening spent in great company, I'm making a public statement of gratefulness for the amazing things that exist now and dedication to pursuing anything that I know makes me happy; it doesn't matter if I have utopia figured out just yet.

Although my body aches and I may have a sliver of glass in my hand, I would say that I'm ending the day pleasantly content. The sun is shining, warmth returned to the Midwest, my neighbor is jamming to the best of Marvin Gaye, and it's a soothing sound drifting through my windows with the breeze.
Today's mission was an organizing job with a focus on unpacking. Interesting revelations occur when a couple moves in together for the first time. Especially when it's in a city apartment. Too much stuff, too little space. Only the man of the house was around for the unpack, so any divesting of material goods would have to wait for his lady's permission. Organization became a backseat activity to simply making the space livable for now. After eight hours, we achieved that. It was quite a feat, but he was happy with the progress.

And me, well, I was happy for a job well done.  It didn't hurt my mood that it was an active payday. To really tip the scales, after I was already brimming with contentment, the client extended a very generous gesture in the form of Rioja. That's gratitude you can't refuse!